Sexy Jokes – Sexy ƒrequency

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Two nuns in a bath; one says "Where's the soap?" the other says "It does, doesn't it."

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
Why did the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was stuck up the chicken's ass.

Two friends were riding their bicycles home when one said to the other "I know a shortcut," and turned down a cobbled road, the other said "I've never come this way before."

Grafitti in Restroom: OOAQICI82QB4IP

Grafitti: Save Trees Eat a Beaver

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a pile of leaves? Russell.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a barrel of water? Bob.

A man was telling his buddy in a bar about his wife's drinking habits. "She told me that she had tried a bit of strong, tasty Dicken's Cider for a change and really enjoyed herself."

A man woke up in hospital surrounded by his wife and his young son.
"What happened?" he asked his wife.
"You were bathing with our son, young Tommy, and he pointed to your penis and asked what it was. You told him it was your fireman. When you fell asleep young Tommy played with your fireman, it spat at him so he bit its head off," his wife told him.

Grafitti: Stick up for your Dad, he stuck up for you.

What made Uhura sick? William Shatner.

Two nuns were painting a room when one suggested "There is only us two ladies here, let's remove our habits to prevent paint getting on them."
"The second nun replied favourably and they were happily painting in the nude when they heard a knock at the door. "Who is it?" asked the nuns.
"Blind Man," the voice said. Fearing no danger of discovery they invited him in. "Where do you want these blinds?" questioned the man.

Vidi Vici Veni

"Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, was swinging through the trees to meet Jane for the first time.
"How do you do?" he prepared his speach, "I am Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle, you must be the young lady Jane."
"They call me Tarzan, Lord of the Jungle. You, young lady, are Jane."
"He spotted Jane and landed in front of her.
"Me Tarzan, you Jane," he said.

A mute man had a date and wanting to ensure that he was prepared, he went to the chemist. He walked up to the counter, unzipped his flies, slapped his manhood on the counter and placed a ten dollar bill next to it. The chemist whacked his manhood on the counter and took the note.

How do you know when your sister has her period? Your Dad's teeth are red.

What did the man pixel say to the young lady pixel? Blow me.

Michael Jackson's favourite song: I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles.

A child was set a sociological language study assignment, to learn one sentence from each member of his household.
That evening the child went to ask his father, he saw him attempting to seduce the cleaner. "Let me stick my penis in you," his father Sirened.
Next he went to speak with his mother. She was on the telephone to the tax man, "I am not paying you a @*#!ing bribe for nothing," she informed him.
The child climbed up to his sisters' room and through the door heard squelching sounds followed by her scream of "Superman!"
The next day at school he recanted to his teacher the wise words of his family. "Let me stick my penis in you."
"Young Tony that is no way to speak to a teacher."
"I am not paying you a @*#!ing bribe for nothing," he continued.
"I will send you to the principal if this continues. Who do you think you are?"
"Superman!"

What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal.

A young lady was walking through the woods one autumn afternoon. She came upon a small human-like creature sitting on a rock, bent over with his head in his lap. As she approached him, he raised his head and said to her "Go away, I'm a goblin..."

Two bulls were standing on top of a hill surveying the cows below them. The young bull said to the older bull, "I'm gonna run down and make love to a cow," the older bull said, "I'm gonna walk down, and make love to them all."

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